It's October, 1985. I Am On Mars

It’s October, 1985. I am on Mars

It is homecoming. Your best friend brings you over. I think you are pretty and I like your smile. You seem to think it is cute that I like the things I like. I am too nervous to make a move.

It is the beginning of October. My friend tells me that you like me. I am happy.

It is your best friend’s birthday. I can tell that something will happen. We sleep in the same bed and I kiss you for the first time. You drive me home and it is the best day I have had in a while.

It is October 26. I am watching Gravemaker play. I have to make a decision and I do.

It is Halloween. I expect what happens and I like it. We spend the next day together and I am very happy. I ask you something and you say no. I am still in a good mood. Carry On becomes our song.

It is mid November. I am very anxious. You do something for me that no one has done before. The next day I feel closer to you than anyone else. I am proud that people see you holding my hand.

It is the beginning of December. You surprise me and make me the happiest I have been in a long time. I am glad we stick out. I visit your house. I hope that this feeling lasts forever. I realize that this is what I want. I will remember this as the best time I have ever had.

It is mid December. I expect more of the same. You surprise me again. This time it confuses me. I do not know what to think. I think it will still last. Nothing With You becomes our song.

It is New Years Eve. It is the last time I will see you for six weeks. I drink too much and cannot appreciate our last night alone. I am disgraced. I cannot forgive myself.

It is early January. In the back of my mind I knew this was coming. I do not fully grasp what happens. I think it is not so bad.

It is mid January. It sinks in. I am depressed. I listen to our songs. They remind me of my favourite memories.

It is February 7. I feel like things are the same. I realize they are not. I feel depressed. The next day I feel worse.

It is late February. I realize there is no chance. I start to come to terms.

It is early March. I am excited to see you. I find out he is coming. I cannot come to terms. I do not know what to do.

It is mid March. I am depressed. I am very angry.

It is late March. I do not know what will happen. I hope for the best. I have learned to expect the worst.