Last year I was at a house show and some friends and I were hanging out with others we didn’t really know in the kitchen before the bands started. The house had bought two boxes of Halloween chips for everyone to snack on and we picked out one of each flavour and laid them out on the table. We made a game in which we got each person in the kitchen to rank each flavour of chips.
Sidenote: Somehow everyone seemed to pick either Salt and Vinegar or Ketchup as their top flavours. What the fuck is wrong with people???
One member of the crowd resisted the game in favour of bragging about being vegan. We then started to draw things on the whiteboard in the kitchen. We encouraged this person to draw something to which they replied "I only know how to draw eyebrows," before proceeding to draw that eyebrow shape on the board.
My friend then came out, saw the whiteboard, and drew an oval around the eyebrow, forming the face of the Pringles man. I don't think many other people noticed, but I really enjoyed knowing that this person draws the Pringles man mustache on their face every day.
One of the most enjoyable parts of COVID quarantine has been delving into shitty reality TV with Rebecca. Watching people be cringey and do embarrassing things in the hopes of fame is something the two of us love to share.
Reality TV is now undoubtedly the most popular guilty pleasure when it comes to TV right?The schadenfreude you get when a reality show hits the perfect mix of over the top fake drama, top 40 music, and stupidity is now so specific that I think it needs its own long German word. Wirklichkeitschadenfreude? I tried.
Netflix has recently started to develop its own MTV and Bachelor-style reality shows, after making many "prestige" ones like cooking travel shows, and it has been just glorious. They're never very good for very long (is any reality show?), but they scratch such a specific itch (see above aside) and it's so easy to indulge in them. Since the start of this year, our favourites have been The Circle, Love is Blind, and Too Hot to Handle. All have their faults, and could be so much better with minor tweaks, but who am I to complain?
A funny thing we've noticed in all these shows is a subtle addition of Christianity to all of them. It's never a main plot point or overtly present, but each show has had characters who are Christian and speak about it in more episodes than they don't. It surprised me because I'm not used to getting God in my trashy TV, though that could be because I mostly limited myself to The Challenge and, of course, Jersey Shore, in my youth.
Something else I like to think about though is how Netflix uses its user viewing data in its content creation. It's famous for doing this, as shows like House of Cards and Orange is the New Black were both written in ways to exploit viewers' watching habits. If you put a twist here and a happy episode here, someone is more likely to keep watching and get more eyes on your stuff. Keeping this in mind, I tend to consider this when it comes to most Netflix content, especially stuff meant for a wider audience like Love is Blind.
So, does the steady does of Christian characters in Netflix reality shows mean that they think about attracting a Christian demographic? Is there a Christian lobby pushing for good, God-loving characters on The Circle? IS NETFLIX COMING FOR THAT YESTV/PUREFLIX MONEY?
Even on the recent Wipeout clone that Netflix put out, Floor is Lava, there was a team made up of a pastor and two of his employees (they were by far the biggest weirdos). I keep looking online to see if anyone else has noticed this, but it seems like no one else has really cared besides me.
Fortunately, there is one bastion of reality shows on Netflix untouched by the Bible, and that is the incredible phenomenon of Australian people doing home renovation, rating each other's Air BnBs, and getting back into the dating scene after getting divorced.
I was thinking about the shelf life of fads recently and before long, the king fad of them all, Pokemon Cards, came to mind. Whenever I'm reminded of them, I immediately think of one memory related to them.
Opening Scene:
A small portable in a school yard. It's a fall morning, but it hasn't gotten chill outside yet. Pokemon is at the height of its popularity. Though it has captured the imaginations of North American children everywhere, this only means that a precipitous drop in interest will be coming soon.
"Good morning students."
The principal begins to run through the morning's announcements after the national anthem. After giving some news about the school's Jog-A-Thon fundraiser, he pauses.
"Now, on the subject of Pokemon cards. Starting tomorrow, no Pokemon cards will be allowed on school grounds. This includes recess."
Our protagonist Tim turns in his seat to see his classmate Tyler dropping his head into his hands in anguish, a 2" binder full of Pokemon cards open on his desk.
There aren't any other scenes!
That moment really sums up the experience of every fad (Crazy Bones, yo-yos, Pogs) to me. Though Pokemon as a franchise has persisted longer than I'm sure any North American parent saw coming, the cards came and went pretty fast. Pokemon cards were such an intense thing while they were here and an economy developed around them among kids so fast. Every kid knew they wanted a Charizard (I was sadly only able to muster a Chansey) and was on a quest to trade up for it. It's funny for me to think of Tyler dying inside in real time in front of me because he couldn't bring his giant binder to school anymore, but there was genuine sadness there too, as misguided as it may have been.
What's also funny though is that I don't think many kids actually knew how to play the card game. We all created our own versions of how to play based on looking at the numbers on the cards, but the rules were too complicated for our dumb asses to understand. I only realized how the game worked years later when I played the GameBoy edition of the trading card game. We were so caught up in how badly we needed to own Pokemon cards, but none of their worth was based in us actually using them,* only in having them.
*Is Charizard actually the best card?
Fads meet at the most volatile crossroads of kids needing to fit in and parents having to be withholding because they know better. Your parents realize how stupid the thing you're obsessed with is and as a result need to dole it out in small doses. Sure, you could receive pack upon pack of Pokemon cards, like Tyler did, but then you start to expect everything you want and don't appreciate everything you have. And yeah, the fad your kid is obsessed is stupid, but if you don't give them a little taste, they're ostracized by their peers and being consistently put out like that can create some very real issues later.
Kids like such dumb shit. How will they ever survive?
Coincidences have to be one of the weirdest things about our human existence, right? You see a few things recur over a couple of weeks and it's easy to convince yourself that we're living in a simulation and are just pawns being manipulated by an unseen power. You can even convince yourself that a worldwide pandemic that has killed hundreds of thousands of people isn't real.
This is on my mind because of two musical artists that seem to be circling me lately.
Coincidence band #1: Screeching Weasel
I used to love Screeching Weasel when I was younger. I was really into learning the history of pop-punk at the time and being into My Brain Hurts made me feel like I was a bigger head than all of my peers listening to All Time Low. To be honest, the songs are still very good, but the "I hit women and SJWs are unfair" act that Ben Weasel has going on is a quick path to me not giving a shit about your band.
Sidenote: One day it rained at Ontario Place and the entire water park staff jammed into our break room to escape the storm. One person asked for an iPod to put on music and ended up using mine. They asked "What should I put on?" and I replied "I don't know, everyone probably won't like the music that's on there." Everyone teased me for being pretentious and then put the iPod on shuffle. The first song that played was "My Brain Hurts" and everyone made a disgusted face. I laughed.
So, how has Screeching Weasel turned up for me lately? My friend John started a vintage streetwear shop. Or page? Or account? I don't know how being a hypebeast works. Anyways, he recently did an unboxing video and one of the shirts he featured was a vintage Boogadaboogdaboogada shirt.
Then, when I woke up this morning I did my usual routine of downloading the most recent episode of Blink-155 so that I could listen to it while I took Pierre on his morning walk. This morning's episode? blink-182's cover of "The Girl Next Door".
Coincidence Band #2: Bob Seger
A couple of weeks ago, I watched Girl and Chocolate's 2014 skate video Pretty Sweet. Given how ubiquitous those companies (company?) have been in skating, the video is stacked and their team is pretty much unparalleled in terms of talent. The part that stands out the most to me in the video, for whatever reason, is Cory Kennedy's, which is accompanied by Seger's "Night Moves".
Whereas most of the video featured hip-hop or hardcore punk, Kennedy's super laidback and Pacific Northwest style of skating works absolutely perfectly with the long acoustic-driven song.
Man, what a part. Jeeze.
Yesterday my friend Matt tweeted "he died as lived, listening to Bob Seger's 'Night Moves' on repeat". That is ... the ultimate way to go. This coincidence makes a lot of sense, as Matt and I are essentially two version of the same person and have identical interests, so it's not a stretch that he would be pumping the Silver Bullet Band and I would be excited about him pumping the Silver Bullet Band.
THEN, Seger came back again. Rebecca and I have been watching the first season of The OC, a much-loved show that I have never watched. One of the characters on the show, Julie Cooper, is a women who came from a poor neighbourhood, but married a then-rich man and is now ashamed of her past and overcompensates with a rich lifestyle. Early in the season, one character refers to her past self as someone who loved Bob Seger, which is supposed to be signifier of her lower class background and taste and is seemingly unbelievable in the rich confines of Newport Harbor. Cooper then begins an affair with her daughter's ex-boyfriend, but ultimately spurns him in favour of accepting a marriage to the father of her neighbour, who cheated with her husband. This show is so stupid and it is very funny to me that Days of Our Lives in a different time slot was such a definitive show and identity-shaping moment for many people I know.
Anyway, the song that plays after Luke sees Julie say "yes" and drives away drunk? Take a guess.
