Redemption Won't Be Mine

I'm currently reading Michael Azerrad's book Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes from the American Indie Underground 1981-1991. Reading a book like this, which tells the biographies of 13 bands who were (in some cases are) varying levels of punk , can feel like a copout because it's mostly an author telling me that things I already think are important are, in fact, important, but I'll be damned if I still don't get caught up in it.

I don't know what I was expecting when I started the book, but there was a part of me that hoped that the author would devote time to knocking the bands down a peg for a little bit. Even though I love the Replacements and Minor Threat, there's a weird part of me that wants to read a differing opinion and see a take other than "Minor Threat were an amazing influential band and all of their copycats struggle to replicate them". That's not exactly what I got, but my thoughts on the thing changed in the process too.

I think that that desire to see a dissenting point of view comes from my, I don't want to say disillusionment with punk, but I can't think of a better word. I'm not, and never will be, done or over punk music, but as I grow older I find that it's not as consistently inspiring to me as it was when a 13-year-old and first discovering it. The first time I heard "The Decline" by NoFX, I immediately felt like I had tell everyone I knew about and earnestly believed that if everyone heard it, they would feel like I would and we would change the world.

Now, after listening to punk for so long, and going to shows, being a part of different scenes in different cities, playing in a band, helping to put on shows, that feeling has changed. You grow up and realize that not everyone has the same experience in punk as you and most people don't care as much. A lot of bands care about drinking and playing fast, but not so many care about the politics. And I don't even mean the left-wing stuff that most good bands espouse, I mean the personal politics baked into the genre from the very beginning: doing things yourself as a collective, respecting your peers and welcoming others and weirdos, giving everyone a shot and breaking down the barrier between the stage and the audience. It's disheartening to see a rejection of those things in contemporary punk and seeing more and more bands caring more about the plastic lanyard on their waste than the message in their music. It makes it almost impossible to not become jaded about punk and wonder why you even care when everyone else seems to think that the concept of caring is lame.

I say all this though, because what I think is important is that, like many other things, punk can still be perfect in small moments, which is echoed in Our Band Could Be Your Life's introduction and throughout the stories of the bands represented. I think that, in theory, punk is perfect, but people fuck that theory up all the time because they don't understand it. It's hard to watch it happen, but then when you're watching Wayfarer open for the Sidekicks and this band you've been watching grow for ten years, but never break out of Southern Ontario, debut new material that is somehow better than their past stuff and you are instantly floating on the floor because you're reminded that punk matters.

I hate to sound like I'm unrealistically idealistic, but I notice that I gravitate towards things like this, which don't ever work out in the long run consistently, but give you a glimpse into a utopia where people work together and respect each other and good things happen as a result. Is that why most punks tend towards the left politically? Because we're all hanging onto that dream?

There are three bands in particular who drum up this feeling in me, who stayed punk for their whole existence, no matter how long it was or is, and proved that it is possible to stick to your moral and not have your art ruined by business or jaded assholes who don't care anymore. They always remind that punk does still matter and that we should always keep pushing and dreaming on making it work. Unsurprisingly, they all lean a little lefty loosey too. It's so comforting to me to know that no matter how overwhelmed with stupid scene politics, or bad bands getting big, or shitty stories about shitty band dudes, there is still that small perfect nugget of punk buried in there somewhere.

So let's all take a moment for ourselves and be inspired.






 The funny thing is that I'm not even what you would call a huge Minutemen fan. I don't know all the lyrics off by heart and, relative to other bands I like, I don't spend tonnes of time with their music, but damn if jamming econo doesn't fill me with so much joy. They're approach to punk and being in a band is so inspiring and I really do think that everyone should strive towards what they laid out during their perfect career. In my mind, that is what the general understanding of punk should be.

Episodes From a Struggle Against Capitalism in 2018

One of my biggest vices is buying T-shirts. I can't get enough of them. Even though I have two deep drawers that are overflowing with them, I'm drawn to them like a moth to a bug zapper and just keep buying them anyways. It also doesn't help that most of my main interests have turned into glorified T-shirt factories. Punk bands set up a mini-mall in the venue and the Jays have a store the size of an Olympic swimming pool designed to sell things with their logo on it.

Beyond the utilitarian aspect of having a shirt to wear each day, I like T-shirts as a sort of artifact. I think it's cool that when I wear a band's shirt it's indicative of my enjoyment of them, but is also a physical manifestation of my memory of seeing that band on that night. I love my Lifetime shirt because it reminds me of the one time that I'll have gotten to see one of my favourite bands. More than that, it's also an artifact from that specific iteration of the band. I love my Sidekicks shirt because it was from their tour right after Awkward Breeds came out and is a nice reminder of when all of my friends and I were mesmerized by what the band was doing and excited to see them play the legion in Guelph.

This all being said, I am drowning in T-shirts and I am constantly trying to consume less in my life, so I made a pledge to myself in January 2018 that I would not buy any T-shirts (or clothes, really) for the whole year. I know that it's a silly project, but I also think that its non-essentialness and stupidity is part of what makes it fun.

Episodes From a Struggle Against Capitalism in 2018

1. The 2018 Toronto Blue Jays Season

The mighty king of the sports T-shirt world is undoubtedly the "shirsey", a T-shirt with a print of the front of a sports team's uniform on the front and a player's name and number on the back. Since I'm far too poor to chase my dream of a walk-in closet filled with different jerseys to wear each day, shirseys area fun and economical secondary option. Since they are so much cheaper than an actual jersey, you don't have to put as much thought into which player's shirt you purchase, as you won't be saddled with an expensive monstrosity you hate to wear if the guy's production falls off a cliff, or worse, right after you purchase it. As such, getting obscure or silly shirseys is a fun thing to do if you like sports.

As I've already covered on IMU, the 2018 Jays were fucking awful, so names that you would be proud to wear on your back were slim. But what the team lacked in star power, they made up for in spades with "that guy?" options. Curtis Granderson? Steve Pearce? Aledmys Diaz? These all would have been elite additions to my collection of heroes past, but thanks to my extreme will power and personal sacrifice, those shirts will go to someone more in need.

2. Power Trip, w/ Sheer Mag, Fury, and Red Death

Thanks to the rise of large-scale music festivals in North America, the days of elite package tours that travel all over Canada and the United States are a thing of the past. Mid-level bands still come through Toronto regularly, but I long for my youth when it seemed like a band at the height of their powers with several other signed acts were a regular occurrence. I am by no means hating on watching local bands, but it's just not the same as when you would go to a show and see four really good bands who were all extremely tight from playing each night on tour and were diverse musically.

That longing for package tours was a huge part of why I was so excited for Power Trip coming through Toronto in May with Sheer Mag and Fury. The show was rammed inside and each band had an elite merch set up that was as diverse as their sounds. Power Trip do great pastiches of 80's thrash shirts, whereas Sheer Mag's simple logo shirts seem like a classic design from when the "band shirt" was still in its infancy in the 70's. This show was my hardest test. Both bands' shirts would instantly enter into my primary rotation and get a lot of reps during the summer, but I persevered and out-lasted my desire to get one.

Also, at this show I saw a huge hesher metalhead in a battle vest puke on a couple while they were making out.

3. Joyce Manor, w/ Vundabar, and Big Eyes

Joyce Manor has been a favourite of mine for the better part of a decade now, ever since I heard their self-titled first record. Despite my long-standing love and appreciation of their music, I somehow only managed to see them for the first time this year, touring on Million Dollars to Kill Me.

Sidenote: This long streak of missing them included a 2011 show featuring their first trip to Canada, Lemuria touring Get Better. What a show.

I would love to have a Joyce Manor shirt and proudly display my appreciation for a band who's put out 5 good records in a row, but instead they had the misfortune of scheduling this show while I was on my T-shirt exodus. It seemed like there were many good options from afar, but I opted to not put myself through torture and didn't approach the table.

4. Algernon Cadwallader annouce a reissue of their discography

One of the saddest experiences you can have as a music fan is getting heavily into an artist shortly after they break up. Me checking out Television for the first time this week certainly has an air of "I can't believe they were this good the whole time!", but it's not nearly as bitter as realizing Algernon Cadwallader were emo gods only a year or two after they broke up. To make matters worse, there were times I could have seen them, but opted not to! What an idiot I was!

I scoured the internet to see if any record labels or online stores still had stock of Algernon merch, but the band's staunch DIY stance, a huge part of why I love them so much, meant their post-career online presence was next to nothing. I was haunted my image of a t-shirt, long since sold out, in online stores that no longer shipped.

Then, in the fall of 2018, the band announced that they would be reissuing all of their music through Asian Man Records. Cool! On top of that, the band would be reprinting their first t-shirt design and selling that as well. WHAT. ON TOP OF THAT, they would also be printing that design on my other apparel weakness, a black pullover hoodie. It was like Algernon had reached into my mind and plucked out what I wanted most.

But this wasn't about what I wanted. It was about what I had promised myself. And that was to buy no T-shirts during the 2018 calendar year. Mody Dick ate my harpoon and swam away. The marlin decomposed while tied to the side of my boat. I lay on my couch thinking of an alternate world where I would have an Algernon Cadwallader T-shirt.

5. The Sidekicks, w/Gladie, Found Objects, and Wayfarer

Like all good dramas, my quest to buy no new T-shirts was expertly paced. After the climax of the T-shirt I had dreamed of slipping away, the plot resolved with a lesser event. Like how the big death always happens in the second last episode of a season in The Wire. I saw one of my favourite Ontario bands, Wayfarer, play with one of my favourite active bands, the Sidekicks. The Sidekicks came on strong with a white long-sleeve that said "America's Greatest Living Rock 'n Roll Band" on the front and "POWER POP" down the sleeves, but I had already won my war. No shirts would enter my closet this year.

The 2018 I, Musical Genius Musical Revue

Even though I've spent a lot of this year focusing on building up my portfolio on my Wordpress site, it's very important to me that I keep my year-end list write up on I, Musical Genius. When I first started writing here, these lists were my first forays into long-form writing and I think they were instrumental in me finding my voice as a writer. Though I may be other places, these lists will only ever belong on I, Musical Genius. Let's rip, these are in no order.

The Sidekicks - Happiness Hours

When I saw The Sidekicks touring Happiness Hours earlier this year, I was convinced that this was the best album of the year while I watching them. I'm not sure about that now, but I also have no idea what the best was anyways. This is up and is a huge return to form for them. Really great power-pop songs with huge bass parts and vocal hooks and it takes you on a wonderful journey from start to finish.

Fucked Up - Dose Your Dreams

I eagerly anticipated this album after reading a great interview with Damian in the Canadian music magazine Exclaim! It delivered on my expectations and I think that this is their best work since Hidden World and The Chemistry of Common Life.  It's a drugged out British version of David Comes to Life that, I think, gives a more interesting and nuanced interpretation of that story. Has a hardcore band ever been on Fucked Up's level? Is Fucked Up the best band to ever come out of Toronto. This album makes me believe so.

Bonus content: Here's the Exclaim! article I mentioned. Also, Fucked Up's Damian Abraham and Mike Haliechuk, who are noted for clashing creatively in the band, did an episode on Damian's podcast Turned Out a Punk and it makes for a great companion piece to the album.

Turnstile - Time & Space

On the other hand, I love that recently everyone has stopped being afraid to love breakdowns and heavy chug parts in hardcore and I think that Turnstile has been a huge part of that. Heavy and groovy, but also channelling a lot of Give-esque counter culture influence. Great stuff and I love the direction they're taking as a band. Plus they got Atiba Jefferson to shoot a video! Worlds colliding!

Fiddlehead - Springtime and Blind

The thing that interests me most about this record is how difficult it is to pigeonhole it. So often now, I find that band are purposefully working through a specific interest, or purposefully using a genre trope or sound. Fiddlehead is kind of hardcore, kind of punk, kind of post-punk, kind of poppy, but the songs never really sit in any of those categories, and I think that's what makes this record really interesting.

Culture Abuse - Bay Dream

Culture Abuse did the most difficult thing a band can do on Bay Dream, trimming off all superfluous parts in their sound and making a tight, succinct album that defines their identity as a band. Each song moves naturally through its construction and has great hooky guitars and choruses that gives the pieces character. The band sounds like their recognizing their influences and purposefully nodding to past artists, but do it in a way that seems natural and never hackneyed. On top of that, the lyrics are simple and to the point, but do a wonderful job of world building and drawing you into the life that Culture Abuse lives. As perfect an album as CA will make.

Tony Molina - Kill the Lights

Out of all the albums I knew would be released in 2018, Tony Molina's was the one I was most anxious to hear. I would have liked a little more stoner fuzz on it, but I also appreciate that he's pushing himself to write 60's-style folk pop and allowing his vocals to carry the melody, which seems like a strip down to bare parts, but is very hard to pull off. One of my very favourite artists producing music right now.

Deafheaven - Ordinary Corrupt Human Love

The first time I listened to Ordinary Corrupt Human Love was while skateboarding to a park to hangout with my brother on a hot night in the summer. It was the perfect soundtrack for that.

Dan P and the Bricks - When We Were Fearless

Few things disappoint me as much as the fact that I continue going to bat for ska, but so few actually good ska releases are put out anymore. Dan P bucks that trend and makes up for everyone else dropping the ball by writing big band ska songs that still rely on pop song structure.

Nothing - Dance on the Blacktop

I'm pretty over shoegaze because I feel like most bands lean to heavily on having the right gear to make their guitar sound huge and atmospheric while forgetting to write a good song first. I don't care that you have a Twin Reverb. I care about your songs. On Dance on the Blacktop Nothing write wonderful Britpop songs and and then blow them up into huge dreamy gaze numbers. That's an important distinction to make and it's also why Nothing is the only shoegaze band I still listen to.

Shook Ones - Body Feel

I was very shocked to receive a new Shook Ones album in 2018, as I was pretty certain they had broken up. But they had not! Body Feel builds on the moves the band started to make with The Unquoteable A.M.H,, establishing that they're more than a Kid Dynamite clone and have a depth to their music that most contemporary punk is sorely lacking. I always appreciated the personal/political bent of their stuff and that continues here. Happy to have you back.

Vince Staples - FM!

A downside of punk is that your mind gets used to every album being under 30 minutes and it becomes difficult to remain focused on things with longer run times. Specifically with rap, whose albums often hold 20-ish tracks, I always catch myself wondering why they don't trim the fat and sketches on longer releases. Fortunately for me, Vince Staples is here to deliver exciting and dense rap albums that don't give you time to get bored.

Oso Oso - gb/ol h/nf / subside

Yes, only a two-song single, but Oso Oso is my favourite band currently making music and these both fucking bang like a shotgun. Can't wait for the next release.

Other things I was into:

Buddy - Harlan and Alondra, Joyce Manor - Million Dollars to Kill Me, Lifted Bells - Minor Tantrums, Doe - Grow Into It, Drug Church - Cheer, Lil Wayne - The Carter V

Also, Daniel Romano released three albums this year. While none of them resonated with me the way that Modern Pressure did, you have to respect his insane drive and artistic vision. Three albums! All good! That alone mentions merit here, though it also helps that he's constantly evolving his sound and low-key turning into alternative music's equivalent of the Coen Brothers.

To Get Lost in the Romantic, What We All Want

While watching The Sidekicks play this week, I was thinking to myself about how great 'deep cuts' are. Given that I am a 29-year-old white rock music fan, I know this is not the most surprising opinion, we're divin' in anyways!



I find that there's something alluring about an artist's songs that aren't the ones that everybody likes. It makes the song feel a little more precious and a little more like it's yours. I've always found a lot of pleasure in liking things that not everybody else likes. It's not that I think that makes me more special, but it makes the thing more special to me.

Deep cuts usually have a few shared qualities. They're usually in the back half of the album (though I find track 2's are often great deep cuts) and stand out amidst longer or more experimental tracks. They're never as poppy as the album's singles, but poppier than the songs around them. I find that my favourite deep cuts are often simple love songs or creeds about personal politics that have great vocal melodies.

Deep cuts can extend to other media as well, like an obscure quote from a TV show or a movie that isn't the first check on an actor's resume. Liking 'the obscure thing' can feel stupid sometimes, like it seems like I'm trying aggressively hard to be an individual, like maybe popular things are popular because they're good, but really isn't it great to encourage people to investigate things and discover passions they don't know about yet? I think that my love of deep cuts is a byproduct of my curiosity. As soon as I find something I'm interested in, I always try to do an investigation to learn about the context it was created in and see if there was anything I was missing at first. Yes, that is why I love the song "Together".

The ultimate joy related to deep cuts is when you see a band play them live. In fact, I think there are few things more exciting than when a band plays a song you weren't expecting. It immediately forces you to be present because you know it's something you won't see regularly and the duration of the performance of the song is its own tiny existence while it's happening. You immediately start to anticipate your favourite parts of the song and that light anxiety makes watching the song even better. As a music fan, you invest a lot of time and energy into absorbing someone else's art, so when a band plays a deep cut live, it shows you that they are thinking of that too. They wouldn't play it if they didn't think that some people wanted to hear it.

This was spurred by The Sidekicks playing "Incandescent Days" from their album Awkward Breeds. I put the song on the first mix I made for Rebecca when we first started dating and it makes me remember her apartment in Guelph. That's what I thought of when they played it.