Thursday, March 21, 2013

279 Cole Road

I like to think that I am not a very vain person, but that is just not true at all. I'm aware that I neglect this blog far more than I should. I used to write in it more and really found a way to properly express myself through writing for a little while, but I just don't have that type of motivation for it anymore and I have no explanation for that. It's not that I don't want to write anymore because I absolutely do, it's just that whereas I used to sit down with an empty screen and ooze out an entire passably coherent entry, now I cannot. I can't explain it. But then again I'm doing that right now, aren't I. Fuck bruh, I'm so meta it hurts.

Anyway, I'm sure you are wondering where the hell that non-sequitur paragraph came from, so I'll indulge you. Whenever I do log back onto this blog to write an entry there is a 0% chance that I don't read back through a ton of my entries. It happens without  fail every time. SEE THAT IS WHAT THE FIRST SENTENCE REGARDING ME BEING VAIN HAS TO DO WITH THIS!

Okay, so here's the rub: While there are many entries that I am still very proud of, there are a ton of older ones that are THE MOST EMBARRASSING. Like most people my first inclination would be to delete these posts because the first thought into my head is "Dammit Tim, is there actually a single person in the world who wants to read about how much you liked Bayside 4 years ago?".But shortly after that I consider the following question: What is going to give me more peace of mind; deleting old posts and maybe making it seem like I never had an awkward and uninformed stage of my life or leaving all the old posts up for everyone to see and not acting like I'm too cool to admit I've had some bad moments? The answer to this is always the latter.

So while there are certainly some heinous posts in the nether-regions of this blog, it makes me feel better to say "Yeah, so what?" and leave them there. I guess it's the same as when some people delete really old pictures of themselves on Facebook so they won't be seen. I think it's pretty uncool to be embarrassed about the person you used to be and it's a good idea to try and accept it.

But my life is generally a mess anyways, so what do I know?

Also, please stay away from old posts lololololololololololololol.