Hey Fuck You, Fuck You Too

Something you may not know about me is that I am secretly a petty and dramatic person. I love to talk shit; it is so fun and great. I also hold grudges much more than I let on.

In addition to all of that, I have strong opinions on music, seeing as I am a straight white man who weighs under 150 lbs. Though I try to expand my music tastes, discover new things, and re-visit things I used to hate to see if anything has changed, there are some bands that I will just never like because if I've come this far in hating them, I can't just roll back on that and admit they might be good.

The Bands I Will Never Like:

The Beatles

The Beatles are #1 with a bullet. Fuck this band. I deeply love power pop, so people are always like "You would like the early stuff" but the early stuff is either 60% of a good song or Motown covers that are worse than the original. John Lennon has a nine inch nail stuck in his head vibe. Paul is good at bass but sucks. Worst of all is that everyone says they are the best band of all-time, a true sign that they are a band for jabronis.

Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin is the worse version of every good band from the 70s. Less heavy than Sabbath. Rock less than Thin Lizzy. Worse solos than Cheap Trick. Less groovy than the Stones.

Nirvana

I actually liked Nirvana a lot when I first started listening to rock music. Since then I've come to find the hardcore/metal riffs with throaty crooning so obnoxious. I always get this idea of Nirvana being really heavy and thrashy for a mainstream rock band, but then they're always the same boring butt rock whenever I try.

Why?

One of my ex-girlfriends always put down my taste in music and was always trying to change what I listened to by giving me terrible recommendations. She loved the band Why? and for that reason I will never even consider listening to them.

50 Cent

Unfortunately, I was a "rap is crap" kid growing up and 50 Cent got the worst of it. I've gotten into lots of different types of rap since then, but G-Unit stuff still sounds so shitty to me.