This weekend, I will be volunteering at the Toronto Comic Arts Festival, as I've done each of the last four Mother's Day weekends. This means that this coming Friday will be the last shift I work during our current exhibition season, leaving less than ten (the real number is still unknown, but for sure less than ten) shifts at my current job.
Over the last year or so, there's been a lot of false endings at the place, where there was a good chance I would leave, but ultimately ended up staying put. This time, the change is set in stone because of the big move at the end of June. I can't work here while living in Montreal.
Some people would get wistful leaving a place they've worked that long, but I can't say that I am at all. Maybe there was a bit of that once I left the office last year, but certainly not now. Being at the same place and following the same procedures every day has gotten beyond monotonous and I think I've been sleepwalking through the motions for months now.
This type of boredom crept up on me and I was fully snared in its trap before I even realized it. The idea of having a job where you do nothing and have limited responsibilities is appealing, but this type of existence also bleed into the other parts of my life and it feels like I didn't do anything for the last year.
This is, of course, completely untrue, as I spent the better part of that time applying to and finalizing my school for the future, and then organizing all the logistics that come with a shift that big. Still though, I can't shake the feeling in my gut that I need to break away from where I am right now (professionally that is, I will always love you Toronto) to spur myself into news ways of thinking, new experiences, and some much-needed uncertainty.
Two months of hot Toronto weather. A couple of engagements in that time. Packing up a whole life. Let's rock.
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