You're Dreaming if You Think That I Care

I had the initial idea for this blog post waiting for the subway to go to work one morning, but then the St. Mike's news broke and that became my main talking point for a couple of weeks. I'm the one person that all my friends know that went to St. Mike's, so for many people, I was the one person they asked about it. From my end, that meant one new person asking me about it each day. It weighed on me a lot to have a group sexual assault, and the problematic institutional attitudes that led to it, on my mind each day. The issue has slowly begun to be resolved and many of the important developments, like arrests of the perpetrators and authority figures stepping down, have already happened. I hope that steps to right the issues at the school continue and work, but a big part of me believes that won't be the case. I still hope it happens though.

What I was going to say before this happened, is that I've felt mostly comfortable in my life lately. I'm diligently working towards school applications and work isn't so overbearing. Something about taking a quiet Sunday morning subway ride from Bathurst Station to a job I wasn't dreading made me feel something resembling inner peace. I wanted to commemorate that with a post here for posterity. I like that I can return to this blog and look at the posts like they're moments in time. I can usually remember who I was when I wrote them and what inspired them. It feels good to access those things inside of me.

I wanted this post to fall into a specific type of IMU post that's hard for me to describe. They usually are about a lot of things, but nothing in particular, which leaves me writing about my life and existence, I guess, and I feel like that's when my real and worthwhile observations come out. I feel like in between retrospectives of bands and moments associated with them and things I'm interested in at the moment, there's these medium length posts that are just me conveying a calm state of mind. I have a "life in general" label that roughly translates to this, but it's not universal. They're my favourite ones.

I was listening to The Decay while trying to get work done today, and took a little look back into IMU to see if I could find a post I remember when I discovered the band. I couldn't, but looking through the blog is what reminded me of the types of posts I described above. Also, going forward "Empty Frames" should be considered the urtext on Kitchener. I don't think anything describes living in the city like that song does.



It's nice to look back at the blog and see that I'm still mostly the same person, at least personality-wise, but have also grown up in important ways. There's things I find embarrassing on here, but that's okay. No middle-class white kid born with a perfect conscience. Growth means that I'm trying at least.

I also find comfort in the couple of things that haven't changed. Still put off writing by writing. Still am embarrassed to tell people how I feel. Still find a lust for life in punk.