Useless History

In a past life, I was born in Madison, Wisconsin in 1957. I started to smoke cigarettes when I was 12 years old. I started drinking and smoking pot after my older brother brought me out with his friends and we listened to Led Zeppelin II. In 1975, I drove home drunk from a Cheap Trick show and died rolling the car over in a ditch on an empty highway. My best friend died with me that night.

In a past life, I was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1904. I started working as a brick-layer when I was 15 years old, the same job as my father who immigrated from the south of Italy shortly before I was born. As a young boy, I fall in love with the Brooklyn Robins. As a young man, I fall in love with the youngest daughter of a Dutch family. I went to lots of games with my son at Ebbets Field. I died of a heart attack in 1953.

In a past life, I was born in Reading, England in 1830. My father worked for the Great Western Railroad and sent me to study in London when I turned 18. I studied literature, took an interest in art, and travelled to Paris twice to see the Salon. I wrote a novel, The Line, about the expansion of the British Railroad and it was unsuccessful. I worked my whole life for a publishing press. I lived for 71 years, had four children, took three mistresses, and died when I fell ill with the flu.

In a past life, I was born in Paris in 1764. My father was a baker and my mother took care of our Third Estate family at home. My father read the newspaper aloud to me every day. In 1789, I participated in the storming of the Bastille and was shot in the leg. In 1790, I briefly joined the Jacobin club. I fathered a daughter with a woman I knew and did a bad job of supporting them. In 1792, my lame leg caused me to trip at the Tuileries and I was trampled by the crowd and died alone.

In a past life, I was born in Valencia, Spain in 1602. I grew up on a family farm and then started my own when I turned 20. When I was 17, I married a 16-year-old girl from my town. When I was 22, she became pregnant and died during birth. The baby also died. When we bought our farm, we got a Spanish Water Dog puppy and named him Diego. He lived to be 13 and was my best friend. I died at age 50 from skin cancer.

In a past life, I was born in Changde, Huang in 1535. My father was a rich aristocrat and provided for me my entire life. When I was 24, I met a young girl from another wealthy family and our families arranged for us to be married. We took to each other immediately and she made me very happy for my entire life. I died of respiratory problems at age 74. I considered myself very lucky when I got to look at my wife’s face in my last moments.