Regardless, Thanks A Lot

Last night, on the last night of my Christmas break, I got to see Jeff Rosenstock play an intimate solo show at D-Beatstro. It was wonderful and I feel confident saying it was one of the best nights of my life.

The night before, Jeff took to Twitter asking if there was anywhere in Toronto that he could play a house show while he was passing through the city. Though I'll always associate Jeff with his early ultra-DIY Bomb the Music Industry! days, where playing a small house show was the norm for him, his star has grown considerably since then, so playing a show this small was unexpected and exciting.

I also felt weird when I saw him tweet that. In my younger days, I would have jumped all over the chance to have Jeff play at either Fuck Mountain, The Dude Hole, The P'Zone, or The Fortress of Solid Dudes (my friends and I are so creative), so my immediate reaction was "Should I put on the show?" Music scenes are exactly what you make them. The prospect of a Jeff Rosenstock house show is amazing, but for it to be amazing, someone needs to put on the show. I salivated at the thought of Jeff playing my apartment. But I quickly realized that having the amount of people Jeff would draw in that small of space that also has a cat and a dog in it is not a good idea. It sort of felt like a chapter in my life had closed and it was the first time that I had acknowledged that the house I was living in is not a punk house.

But the show got put together without me, which I knew would happen anyways. And at an actual venue, no less! I used to live across the street from the venue, know D-Beatstro's owner Jess, have seen a ton of great shows there, and have played there myself, so I was happy to see the spot get such a big pull. D-Beatstro puts on at least two shows a week. Places for all ages shows in Toronto are scarce, so a venue like D-Beatstro existing, regardless of if I like every show that happens, is important.

The place was so full that I couldn't see the performers from my vantage point (no stages, no managers), but it didn't really matter. Junior Battles could play "Basements" on a fucking accordion and it would still fill me with equal measures of pride, happiness, and nostalgia.

Something that I'm constantly trying to fight against is my tendency to feel a sense of ownership of "Jeff Rosenstock". I was the first person I knew to listen to him and for long time he was "my thing" that I enjoyed and not many around me did. Now it seems strange to see so much press about him and see him play bigger venues and bills. But fuck that. That's stupid. I know it's stupid. but the feeling also comes out without my thinking of it. I suppose it's up to me to consciously try to not be a pompous dick about it.

It's also weird to me that so many fans of his music seem so into his SideOneDummy output, while seeming to ignore all of the early stuff that had such a huge impact on me. I was thinking this yesterday when cuts from Worry, which is a wonderful record, don't get me wrong, were getting really big pops while I was thinking to myself "Imagine if he played 'RSTLNE'!" But then he played "Saddr Weidr", the only Bomb the Music Industry! cut of the night and it got the biggest pop of the night. Everybody is there for the same reason and stupid jaded attitudes like mine aren't helping anything.

And even if there were a bunch of people who aren't familiar with Jeff's music there, isn't that a good thing? I bet there's a few who had never heard Bomb the Music Industry! and are checking them out now because he played a song from Scrambles and I bet there's even more who had never been to D-Beatstro before and will now come back for stuff. That's important. That's how you build a scene.

The show was amazing and I'll remember it forever and it was the type of event that reminds exactly why DIY and punk matters in the first place. The show reminded me of three things that Jeff taught me while I was in high school listening to a constant rotation of Three Cheers for Disappointment, Album Minus Band, To Leave or Die in Long Island, and Goodbye Cool World that I have carried with me since then and try to apply to everything I do:

1. Don't be so jaded. It can be hard not to be and sometimes it feels natural, but fight against it. Resisting that tendency leads to immediate good.

2. What you are doing is important. It doesn't matter what it is or on what scale. If you are putting yourself into, it is important and you can let other people convince you that it's not. Don't stop!

3. DIY IS THE BEST. DIY IS EVERYTHING. DO IT YOUR FUCKING SELF AND NOBODY CAN STOP YOU.