I Get Your Words Stuck In My Head

I am currently living on my own in Guelph. This is not the first time that I've lived on my own, but it's the first time that I've lived on my own in almost four years, so it's not that I'm completely new to it, but I do have to shake off the rust a little bit. Something else that I've had to become used to is the amount of anxiety that I experience while I'm living on my own. I can't go hang out upstairs to forget about what I'm supposed to be doing for a little bit. I have to remember to feed myself and take care of myself. These aren't life-altering problems, but they are things that haven't exactly been at the front of my mind for awhile.

I find it pretty easy to get wrapped up in useless stuff while I live on my own. I definitely go off into my own little world and focus on my own specific interests, rather than the sort of communal ones that you kind of adopt while living with the same people for a long period of time. I know that there is nothing wrong with this.

But a side effect of this is that since I'm on my own, I also start to second guess my interests. Why do I like the things I like? Should I like the things I like? Is what I like COOL?!?!?!

I know that these are thoughts that I lot of people have. I've been pretty good at sticking to my guns and liking what I like, rather than trying to force other shit that people think is cool, but self-doubt can be infectious.

I was listening to Wide Awake Bored by Treble Charger. I know that this is not a "cool" album. Hell, I know that this isn't even really a "good" album. But three summers ago, I kind of had a moment with it and as a result, I've got a sentimental spot for it. I'm also about to watch a wrestling pay-per-view. Yes, I am well aware how uncool professional wrestling is.

You know what? I really don't give a fuck. I'm going to blare Treble Charger and I'm going to watch wrestling and I'm going to enjoy the hell out of it.

It's hard to remember and even harder to put into practice, but liking what YOU like, instead of what other people expect you to like is fucking crucial. Even if you like lame stuff, what actually matters is whether you think it is lame or not. Fuck it dawg, life's a risk.