The Kind Of Green That Doesn't Make A Big Deal About Itself

This past Tuesday evening I went to go see the film adaptation of Perks of Being a Wallflower.

I was first introduced to the book by an ex-girlfriend of mine. She raved about it and said the connection that she had with the story was one of the more major ones she had experienced while reading. She had been given it by a teacher with whom she had a relationship not unlike Mr. Anderson in Perks, which certainly added to the "coming-of-age" aspect of the novel. I had heard several other people describe the book in a similar fashion, so taking that into account as well as my ex's stellar literary taste; I decided to read to the book after a while.

The book hit me pretty hard as I was reading it. I was going through a time when I wasn't the happiest, so I related to Charlie a ton. I mean I've never gone through anything as traumatizing as a best-friend shooting himself or sexual abuse from a relative, not even close, but I'd just been dumped and was really reveling in the level of melancholy present in the writing. I really liked how the sadness wasn't over the top; Charlie never really made over the top statements about how much he wasn't enjoying his life, he would just say "I'm getting bad again." Or at least I think that is more realistic. People who are generally alright but are having a bit of a rough time will make a huge deal about how shitty they feel (present company included) simply because they aren't used to feeling that way and are having trouble dealing with it. People who are legitimately very depressed don't mention it all the time because they are used to being sad all the time (fuck bruh), so Charlie describing it very simply as "getting bad again" makes his condition that much more real.

I also related pretty heavily to the novel because I wasn't the most popular kid in my high school, which was a very sports-centric school, so a story about the weird kids who band together hit home a little bit. I suppose when you write a story about  kid who starts to learn about relationships and try drugs and meet new people and try new things and read cool books, then most adolescents are going to relate to it, but this book came at exactly the right time for me.

I was moderately excited to see the cinematic version of the book because even though film adaptations generally fall short of the original novel, it's still exciting to see a visual, moving version with sound of a story you're familiar with. It had been about 3 years since I had read the book, which was long enough for me to forget many of the minor plot details, but remember them right before or as they happened in the film. To put it shortly, I was floored by the movie.

Pretty much every scene matched up exactly to how I had seen it in my mind while reading the book. I'm sure this is due in large part to the author writing the screenplay and directing the movie, but it was almost uncanny. All of the actors played their roles exceptionally well and, just like the visuals of each scene, looked and acted more or less exactly as I had thought they would.

It sounds funny to say it, at least in regards to a movie that in reality is a pretty standard teenybopper coming-of-age flick, but I got pretty emotional at the end of the movie. It was a combination of forgetting how heavy the end of the novel is and seeing bits of myself as well as other important people in my life in the characters on screen and I had to sit back and let out a "fuuuuuuuuuuuuck" in my thoughts as the movie was coming to a close. I'm not sure if anyone can relate, but whenever I have an intense moment and let out a deep breath it always feels like a huge weight is being lifted off my chest and that happened.

I know most people will probably look down on me for liking the book as much as I do (it certainly has it's share of h8erz), but it's just one of those things that was the right thing at the right time in my life. I really have nothing but great things to say about the movie, but don't be disappointed if you don't get as emo as I did at the end.