Try to Walk Through Walls

A post about how January is a time of transition and change.

I hate this and find these sorts of statements corny as they usually accompany something about how you're going to make a giant change or commitment. Why talk about that or make that effort now, but not the rest of the year? I don't value you saying you're going to do it. I value you doing it. Talk is cheap, you know?

I guess that I've always hated huge public statements about what you're doing or planning for yourself. Though I think that's a good thing, as I enjoy the fact that I don't have a bank of unfulfilled public declarations in my social media archive and instead, they exist only in my mind and notebooks. And here too. Hypocrisy, thy name is Chandler.

It's also a drawback of mine. I'm a terrible self-promoter and that is something that, though it sucks, is incredibly important to being in a band, which is probably why Beat Noir never really took off, and also to my current profession. To some degree, being an academic depends on the public perception of your skills and research. I should better and telling people what I do right?

I guess so.

Originally, I thought that this post would be a collection of small ideas, but it really didn't turn out that way. My brain is a real foggy mess lately and the things I can normally articulate clearly aren't coming out the way I hope they do. It feels like there's a blockage in my lungs that's holding my thoughts down.

Montreal is starting to feel like home. While Becks and I were back in Ontario over Christmas, it felt amazing to see my family and I started to miss them the second we left on Christmas night. Part of me wanted to turn around and stay longer, but another part of me couldn't wait to get back to our apartment in Hochelaga. I'm starting to identify with the area and being proud that I live in the east end, even though I have no claim to that whatsoever. More so than I ever felt about the Annex.* People are weirded out that we don't like in the Plateau and I like that. If people are weirded out by anything you do, that's a good sign. Unless it's directly affecting other people negatively. Then it's a very bad sign.

But damn, would it kill you to get a decent barbershop Hochelaga? Fuck sakes.

*One time some old loser tried to lecture Becks and I on the fact that since we lived on the south side of Bloor, we technically lived in Harbord Village and not in his precious Annex. Fuck outta here bro.

To return to the first sentence, though I hate that sort of phrase, it's undeniably true. School just started again and I already feel so at home being back at Concordia. It's nice. I didn't have any classes today, but I'm back here trying to get over the hump of bumming around the apartment and watching TV turning into schoolwork. Not quite there, but it will come.

This was all over the place and I don't have an ending, but these sorts of posts are necessary. It's winter cleaning time here at IMU folks, and you'll all have to endure it.