Before I left to go to school on Friday, I saw my friend post a meme about listening to "Timberwolves at New Jersey" by Taking Back Sunday.* I never listened to Taking Back Sunday during the height of their popularity in the 2000s and could never get into them later, even as I listened to lots of Get Up Kids, Motion City Soundtrack, and Take This to Your Grave Fall Out Boy. Instead, the only familiarity I have with Taking Back Sunday songs is through the 2003 Halloween set by the Arrogant Sons of Bitches where they covered the band.
*Something that has always bothered me about this song title is that it's stylized as team nickname vs team city. Shouldn't it be "Timberwolves at Nets" or, if they as a Jersey band are trying to include the state name, "Minnesota at New Jersey"? I guess I shouldn't be shocked that the definitive third-wave emo band doesn't have any ball-knowers in it.
Despite being quiet and shy in high school, I had such an oppositional personality, and so much of me was defined by doing the opposite of the rich kids at St. Mike's and by rejecting every part of punk going mainstream with 3rd wave emo. As a result, "my" dramatic high school music was the Arrogant Sons of Bitches, whose lyrics had almost the same melodrama as Taking Back Sunday, though it was cut with A LOT more cynicism about the music industry selling you punk, and was more about interpersonal relationships writ large than just sleeping with your friend's girlfriend. The world feels evil and crazy when you are a teenager and you need music that reflects the intensity of feelings inside you. Or maybe that's not the case anymore, I don't know.
I listened to Three Cheers for Disappointment and a few other fav earlier cuts like "Sorry, We Steal," "RSTLNE," and, of course, "I, Musical Genius" when I got to Concordia that day and it was a nice nostalgia trip for me. There are still a lot of lines that really resonate with me from the band and it makes me feel good that such a huge part of my personality was built on listening to Three Cheers and Discography constantly during my two hours of public transit each day. I can tell that there's a direct line between that experience and my worldview now.
I feel like I have a better understanding of my mental health now that I'm older and more mature, so it's funny to think about lines like
"I take this mental anguish, fist thrown at my head. Because I'm right this time. Yeah, I'm right this time. I'm so right this time. These are my convictions that you're tearing down."
"YOU WILL NOT BE SEEING ME AGAIN NO MORE WHITE FLAGS I SWEAR THIS TIME WE'RE NEVER GONNA TALK AGAIN BECAUSE IT'S ME VERSUS THEM."
"Exhausted all the things I've loved and tortured myself. Can I just be happy? When everybody jumps on everything I said and everybody's telling me that we're best friends, I'd rather be dead or dying."
and then consider emotional, angsty, and confused teenager Tim. I was alone a lot and in hindsight I can tell that I was having trouble bearing the weight of that. Whenever I listen to this record, I always think about commuting to and from my high school lifeguarding job after getting dumped that morning. I had just managed to track down a digital copy of Three Cheers through the Streetlight Manifesto forum Skachilles and listening to the record after that experience felt like this. Silly teenage melodrama aside, I think having a transcendental experience listening to "Rocketrocketrocketship" was the first time I recognized that I was depressed and could articulate that to myself. As an adult, when I look at pictures of myself as a child, I look uncomfortable and sad most of the time. Three Cheers felt like I was being seen in a specific way.
Sometimes loving ska feels silly and it bums me out how most of the genre sucks. Other times, it feels like the best thing in the world.
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