A Step-by-Step Guide in Creating a Forced I, Musical Genius Post

1. Become so anxious about not having written something that you begin to think about it periodically throughout the day. The fear of underachievement must get to a point where it affects you daily before acting.
2. Begin to brainstorm ideas for a post even though you are uninspired because of a lengthy period of artistic inactivity. Grasp at straws while trying to think of ideas that made sense and seemed interesting at one time.
3. Start a draft of a post about one of your old ideas.
4. Start and stop working on the draft several times and get distracted by things that are less important. 
5. Become overwhelmed by the effort of balancing work and personal pursuits. Allow this to further affect your ability to write.
6. Set aside a brief period of time on your day off to write. Do not allow yourself away from your computer during this time.
7. Struggle to remember the original idea which inspired the post you are working on.
8. Force out an opening paragraph. Re-write the opening sentence at least three times. Think of a big word to say and use semi-colons to make sure people think you’re smart!
9. Start writing a second paragraph which barely connects to the first ideologically. Follow this second idea as the main idea of your post.
10. Remember to mention that this is a post that you are “working through” for the sake of “getting back on the horse”.
11. Try to make jokes.
12. Remember that your conclusion should relate to the way you began the post. Write a Hail Mary sentence that does a bad job of connecting all the things you talked about.
13. Avow that you will write another thing this week or at least work on a short story.
14. Wait at least three weeks before starting the process again.