I've Still Got My Key And It Works

Something that I really like to do is look at things that have been or happened in my life for a long time, relative to my time being alive of course, and see how they change. An example of something that I do this with is the experience of me coming home.

I haven't lived at home, save a stretch of 4 months at the end of last year, since I left for my first year of university in 2007 and to me, that is a long time. At first when I would come it was a bit of an awkward experience, mostly because I was a really awkward person then. I mean, I'm still really awkward now, but back then I was whole other levels of awkward. It was my first time living on my own away from my family and since I was so completely socially inept, I didn't really know how to act when I came back. For some completely incomprehensible reason, I felt weird about being close and sharing news and feelings with my family. Fortunately for me, my parents were the completely opposite of me and showered me with all the feelings and excitement anyways. At this point I still had my bedroom at home, so it still felt very normal coming back because everything was set up the same.

This started to change gradually in two ways: At school I moved out of residence and started renting a house with a few friends, which necessitated me moving all of my bedroom from Scarborough to Guelph and lead to a situation somewhat notorious among my friends in which Brian, Pat and I were coming home for a Less Than Jake show and I found my bedroom to be replaced with an empty room save for a single chair, without my knowledge. Of course it makes sense that my parents would try to turn my room into something else, as all of my stuff was out of it, but it was just a little shocking. So now when I came home I was riding the couch, as opposed to the comfort of my own bed. Though I returned back to Toronto for each of my first four summers at school for work, I gradually started to become more and more settled out on my own. The other way I changed was that since I was thrust out onto my own and met a ton of strangers at school, I began to get at least a little better at being social and could begin to reciprocate emotions with my family.

The funny thing is that the longer it gets since I initially moved out, the more I enjoy it when I come back home. A terrible cliché that I like to appropriate for myself is "You can take the boy out of Scarborough, but you can't take Scarborough out of the boy." I know it's corny, but I feel like it's an easy way to describe how I feel about my home town. All of my friends from K-W and Milton love to rip on me for it, but fuck it; Toronto is one of the best places in the world and I love it to death. I mean, yeah Scarborough sucks, but it's my shithole to make fun of, y'know?

This is also coupled with the fact that as I've gotten older I've gradually realized what fucking amazing people my parents are. The more people you meet, the more you realize that most parents fucking suck at instilling basic human decency in their offspring and as a result of that I start to appreciate the way my parents raised me more and more every day. I mean, I can write a passable essay, manage a root-3rd-5th on bass, crack a funny joke every 3rd week or so and sometimes channel my excessive discharge of feelings into a terribly written blog post and they love that person unconditionally! When you're a kid you get bummed out that your parents buy you books instead of Nintendo 64, but now I am so happy that my parents worked hard to instill a love of reading in me at an early age. Even just the basic things like encouraging me to follow my pursuits, whatever they may be, are something you think might be really simple but are somehow beyond most parents. So when I'm away from the 'hood, I start to get really homesick and miss my folks. Because they're the best.

:')

A weird thing that's happened recently is how much my house changes each time I come home. My parents have been renovating recently, so it seems like there a new addition each time I come home. My mom has lost a significant amount of weight from eating well and exercising and while I'm obviously very proud and happy for her, she looks way different! My dogs also seem to get way older and fatter and slower each time I come home. More and more, the house is starting to be a completely different entity than the one I left in September 2007.

Alas, I started this blog with visions of it making far more sense structurally and leading up to the point I'm about to make, but veering off-track and things not going your way is just what happens sometimes. I'm writing about this subject because I came home for the first time in a little while today and it feels great to be back home. What I noticed this time when I came back was how much my dad and oldest dog Jack are alike. They're both getting up there in age, have bum joints in their legs and hobble around a bit, shower me with more love than I can handle. What makes it great is that they are best friends and spend more or less every waking moment around each other. People love to remark that dogs resemble their owners and it is certainly true in this case. They are my two favourite people in the entire world.

And I missed them a lot.

I'm on my way, I'm on my way, hoooooomme sweeeet hooooommmmmee

One of my best friends is named Matt Sellner. He is also my most (re: only) dedicated reader. He started reading not long after I started it and has stuck through like 5 years. I have a wonderful time every time I hang out with him. I love to watch action movies with him. I love to talk shop about wrestling with him even more. Recently we were hanging out and I said "I work at an art gallery." and he responded "You think I don't read your blog?"

The last time we hung out we got delicious burgers and watched a delightful piece of cinema starring Samuel L. Jackson.

Kudos to you Selly for being Imu's (the new, most ballin'-ass abbreviation for this blog, for those in the know) biggest fan but more so for being one of the most non-heinous people I know.

Beat Noir is playing a show on Monday with The Sidekicks that I'm very excited about. They are one of the best bands in the world and both Weight of Air  and Awkward Breeds are personal favourites. And man how good are they live? PRETTY MUCH THE BEST, MAN. Hop Along and Wayfarer are also playing and man, do they ever rule. You should really come.

Blue Jays 1, Yankees 0

This is a song I wrote today while sitting on my roof. The song also happens to be about sitting on my roof, because it was something I did a lot this summer and was kind of my place to go and escape and just hang out with myself once in awhile, because you know what? Everyone needs that every now and then.

It might be silly to post lyrics I finished writing literally 10 minutes ago and without accompanying music, but this was a case of me just kind of randomly spitting out a bunch of things I was thinking about and then thinking "Yeah, I like that." once I had finished, which is generally the feeling I get whenever I finish something that I'm proud of.

SELF INDULGENCE!

It's funny how things work out sometimes, like how this roof's been the bookends to my summer. There were lots of times in between, but there's two that especially stick out to me. There's an image of me gazing out at Shanley Street and thinking about how good things have been. They were two of the hottest days this summer and the green shorts I wore made me look like Jeff Spicoli, or at least that's what I would lead myself to believe. I get so pensive out here, it's like the shingles are a crank that turns the gears inside my head, or maybe it's just that I have time to reflect and I'm not playing baseball in my attic. I wish I could think this well with a roof over my head.

You could say this is my rooftop of solitude where I can think about Montreal and I'm gonna do during my MA in the fall. I'm a little scared, but excited just the same and with this towel as my seat, over these shingles in the August heat, I'm sure that I'll able to cope and succeed.

Best Thing I Got For My Birthday

Today I listened to Make Your Mark by Living With Lions on the way to and from work and I was really struck by how amazing that album is, as I hadn't given it a full listen in quite a while.




I was headbanging and jumping up and down pretty hard on my skateboard while singing along the whole ride and thought to myself "You know what? Fuck it, this is one of the best Canadian punk releases of all-time." I feel like this band really flies under the radar in the punk scene for no reason that I can think of. To put it as simply as I can: They write fast, catchy, poppy punk songs with great guitar lines and are real, real good at it.

I heard both "She's A Hack" and "A Bottle Of Charades" and just couldn't wait to see them live. I eventually saw that they would be playing in Guelph and that was up there as the most excited I've been to see a show. They killed it, I picked up Make Your Mark at the show and didn't stop listening to it for a while and the night is one of those ones that has a habit of sticking out in your mind. Still one of my favourites.

They're putting out a new album this year. While I haven't been as keen on what they've put out since Make Your Mark, I'll still eagerly check it out.

Also, the new Superchunk album is streaming and one of the songs makes reference to the Skatalites' piano player. This guy is stoked.

Feel That Engine HHHHUUUUMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN'

I was about to finish up a post I've been writing for a few days about Streetlight Manifesto because I feel guilty about my last few posts having not much too them, but then THIS HAPPENED TODAY:


Beat Noir has finally gotten around to releasing our new EP, Permanently. This is the first thing the band has released in a shade over two years and it's also the first release that Colin and I have played on. This is especially important to me as it's the first real-deal-for-serious release that I've ever put out with a band (will write about this later). I'm real proud of these songs and really can't wait for everyone to hear them. Also, it is free. Y'ain't got nothing to lose.

Secret Society

You know what band is amazing at making tour videos? Title Fight. The one below recaps the world tour they went on this past year around the States, Canada, Japan, Austrailia, New Zealand and various parts of Europe. It's sweet.





This video is in addition to a great mini documentary the band released earlier this year about a stadium tour they did with Rise Against and recording the excellent Floral Green. Check that out here:




Great band.

This is one of my all-time favourite songs. Every time I hear it reminds of someone, specifically one night with them from a few summers ago, and makes me sad and nostalgic in a good-kind-of-sad way.



And man, when the song gets to the second chorus and Chris hits the higher notes, this is basically what happens:

PLEASE TIM, TELL US MORE ABOUT HOW YOU LIKE TO GET SAD AND WALLOW IN IT.

True Trans

This is the newest Against Me! release. It is two of the songs from the forthcoming Transgender Dysphoria Blues done acoustically. I really think that this is going to be a really amazing and sincere album and I can't wait for it.

Plus one is called FUCKMYLIFE666, so like COME ON!

It's More Than Wincing Every Time I Sip My Tea

As I mentioned in my last post, I have been pondering about a variety of things lately and have been thinking a little more critically than I normally do, which is something that I'm really happy about. Now that I think about it (nice job brain), I'm pretty sure this has to do with my new job. Whereas before I was mindlessly stacking things in a grocery store (fuck, that was actually the worst job I've ever had), now I get to use the creative part of my brain in designing activities and thinking of ways to apply themes and ideas, as well as think critically about subjects when cataloging artworks. It feels great to get the wheels turning up there again, which in turn makes me pretty fuckin' happy.

So yes, I have been thinking more critically lately and this doesn't just mean I write up a long post about how everyone rips on everyone for their music taste because Duff started listening to New Order; it means that I start to process things that happen to me and things that I do and try to relate them to my life experiences as a whole. So Tim, how about you stop typing things up out of your ass and get to the goddamn point of this goddamn blog post.

Cool bruh, just relax.

Earlier this week at work I was speaking with some others in my department, we noted that we needed to better promote our summer camps and decided that taking posters and flyers around the downtown area would be the best way to do that. I was the one charged with this task and as soon as I set out with a backpack full of materials I was struck by how funny it was that something I had done in the past to promote shows that my old ska band played or one that I was putting on at my house was now something that I was now doing at my job. Not just that, but also that something that is considered so basic and crucial in the punk world (one of my main interests in life) was now intersecting with my experience in the art world (one of my main interests in life). It's really funny the way things work out like that.

This got thinking about other times two areas of my life have intersected like that and once I really got going on that tangent it became apparent that it happens more than I realize. More often than not it was art that was finding ways to meld with other interests of mine because as they say "Art imitates the juvenile teen dramas that you watch ironically in your life."

The first time this happened was when I was completing a project for my 12th grade history class. We had to give big term presentations that would take up an entire class and I figured that my best course of action would be to take the "Romantic Movement in Europe" topic because at the time the only thing that I cared at all about was music and I saw that topic as an opportunity to incorporate talking about music into this class. What happened was pretty interesting (to me) and to be honest (seriously not hyperbolising here) was pretty life changing. I found that the more I read into the prevailing ideologies of the Romantic movement, I started to relate to it a bunch and thought it was pretty neat. At the time I was a little heartbroken and felt pretty lonely at my high school, so the frank openness of the Romantics in regards to their emotions and the feeling of being overwhelmed by the sublime was easily relatable. While I thought that I could focus on my forte of music and breeze through literature and art while still getting a good grade, just the opposite happened. The more I looked at and read into Romantic Art, the more I thought "Wow. This is amazing. I had no idea that a visual image could say this much." I started to take a really keen interest in Romantic painting and the main reason was that I thought that the attitude of the artists and what they were trying to say and the way they said it was not all that far off from all the punk bands I love. I looked at paintings like The Raft of the Medusa or The 3rd of May and immediately in them saw the same spirit of rebellion and anti-authoritarianism and that I saw in punk bands. The same went for the movement in literature at the time. The writers were so open and serious about their emotions that it was impossible for me not to relate it to emo music. In fact, during the presentation I said "This basically the book version of an emo band."

From there I ended up taking an Art History survey class in first year, which lead to me majoring to me in Art History in university, so you can see what I meant by "life-changing".

These intersections of my interests happen all the time and it's sort of hard for me to think of more major examples because they generally happen on a smaller scale. Usually it will be an ideology I learned about in school coming up in the themes of an album or a favourite book of mine being subtly referenced on a TV show. Enough for me to crack an appreciative smile, but not enough for me to make a big fuss about it. And it's those little instances that I find to be some of my favourite parts of being alive.

And shit (had to throw in an extra swear word, so I don't sound too full of it).