It's Hard To Stay Warm When The Cold's In Your Bones

Today is the biggest write-off that has ever been written off. Yesterday we had a barbeque at Dwyer's house and logically, drank for 12 hours. It was a beautiful day and obviously I jumped at the opportunity to cruise around without sleeves. So what I'm left with is the outline of a tank-top and a hat burned onto one side of body and a day full of gigantic dumps because all I ate yesterday was bbqed meat and drank beer. So probably I'm going to stay on my futon, continue not wearing pants, listen to RVIVR, watch some Buffy The Vampire Slayer, continue my gigantic Ergs! binge and bask in my glorious headache.

If you want to know what it's like to hangout with my friends and I, yesterday was a pretty good indication. Start the festivities real early, just 'cause. The only soundtrack acceptable is non-stop Kim Mitchell. You can tell who my friends were and who the U of T engineers were because one group was casually eating at the front of the deck while the others were being ridiculous. I love my friends.

Obviously everyone says that their friends are the best, but mine really are an incredible group of people. I'm friends with a lot of different types of people, you know from all the different types of "cliques", from jocks to punkers to g's. But I've found that I have a really good douche-dar and can tell when someone is asshole, whether they show it or not, so it's easy to avoid jackasses. But my friends are always nervous to meet my other friends, since they're different types of people. The reaction is always the same: "Man, I had so much fun. Your friends rule". I'm really proud of this.

So I guess what I'm saying is come have some pbr's with us. We can blare "I Am A Wild Party" and wear dumb shirts. It'll be a good time.

You know what would be great? If the comments I got on this blog weren't just all Asian spam links. Seriously go check. There's almost one on every goddamn post.

I Miss You A Lot, But This Ain't The Time Or Place For Sayin' So

Money is pretty ridiculous isn't it? I mean not having it just puts a damper on any plans you'd have. Don't worry! This isn't about to be a whine-fest. But it's just that even when I set out to do things that don't cost money, such as skating with friends or going to hang out at a bbq, money still plays a factor (because I don't have the $6 necessary for a return trip on the ttc or the $8.75 necessary to bring a 6-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon lager to the bbq). So yea even when I'm consciously trying to make it "not there" it's still there.

That being said when I do have money I fly through it. This isn't me buying things because I need them, it's me buying things because I several expensive habits. For example a downtown trip in which I have no intention of a buying a specific item:

• Lunch at Hero Burger- $10
• Stop at the Silver Snail-$15
• Stop at Rotate This- $20-30
• New bass strings- $30

So even when I have no intention of doing anything, I still drop close to $100. I dunno, Hero Burger makes the best burgs. I like to keep my collection of X-Men up to date. I'll be damned if I don't continue on my quest of owning every piece of Descendents vinyl put to press. I guess bass strings is only every now and then, but goddamn they're still expensive.

Now see, I've thought over and over many times that I would be the perfect type of person to be just extremely loaded. I really like to do things that make other people happy, and I think that I would be able to do that very often if I had a fuckton of money. I've put together a pretty extensive list of all the things I would do if I somehow ran into a bunch of money

• First and foremost pay-off my parents house and their debt. Then give them basically whatever they wanted.
• Secondly, pay the University of Guelph off.
• For right now, pay for everyone's rent and utilities in my house as well as buying out the basement. Also pay a maid to clean up the house.
• For the future, buy three houses, one in Melbourne, Australia, one in Toronto, one vacation house in Hawaii.
• Also buy a hyper-sub to drive around in Jamaica and make jams with Damien. The mother fucking hyper sub. I'd also get a gnarly shark painted on it, so it would look like a World War II fighter jet.
• Kegs of PBR at my house. ALWAYS.
• Have shows in my basement. All the time.
• None of my friends would ever spend money at the bar ever again.
• Less Than Jake would play my birthday.
• Buy a bunch of golfcarts to go to Bruce Lee's in.
• Convert Mama Link into a monster truck, but keep the shitty engine, steering, brakes, electronics, etc.
• Buy the original Batmobile and maybe also turn that into a monster truck.
• Buy a gigantic aquarium and fill it with awesome fish. Including a tiger shark named Cosmo
• Buy the metalslug/bust-a-move/king of fighters Neo-Geo machine from Alberto's Pizza at Bathurst and St. Clair. I would also rig it so you don't need quarters. For the record, I at one point had the second highest score on Bust-A-Move under the name "ASS".
• Put a pool in our backyard. With a diving board.
• Put some skating stuff there as well
• And what the hell, I'd open up the big bop again.

I think that would make for a pretty interesting life no? I'd indulge my own preferences as well, but figured rooms only dedicated to Uncanny X-Men collections and walls of bass guitars don't make for an interesting read.

See it's not that "cash rules everything around me", it's that I like to do dumb shit. Having a lot of money would let me do a lot more dumb shit and let all of my friends in on the action as well.

Major Label Bidding War

I wish there was more days like today. Today was my perfect idea of a day on summer vacation.

I wish hanging around my house getting some things done when my friend called me to go skate. I said I still had to shower and get ready to which he replied "Man, fuck showering, we're skating". I realized how dumb I sounded right after that. What came was a day full of empty skate parks, cut offs dirty from bailing, watermelon arizonas, intense b.o. from my unshowered self and a freshly learned boneless. I guess some things could have been rearranged for a better day, but who the hell am I to complain. Jamming to Junior Battles only furthered this feeling.

I feel kind of weird. Not sure if it's a good feeling or a bad feeling and that's incredibly odd. Emotionally I feel like a jenga tower that has the two outer bricks taken from one row. You know? Teetering. I'm sure I'm fine. And if I'm not fine then music exists anyways. So I guess that does make me fine? I really don't know what I'm saying anymore.

I really am a simple guy with simple pleasures, but sometimes I do forget that. So when I do, please kick me in the head, tell me to lace up my vans and shove me out the door with my deck and an Ergs! mixtape. Alright?

Alright.

Hey, you know what's rad? One of my favourite bands is playing in Toronto for the first time! I'm gonna go see The Wonder Years and scream the lyrics so hard that I cough up blood!

Lawd, what a terrible blog this is.

I've Got Stars That I'm Still Chasing, I Don't Know Why I Complain

Since I had to go to Ontario Place training this weekend (another summer in hell!) one of my exams had to get moved into the first week of the writing period (last week). As a result I finished my exams incredibly early and nobody else is done yet.

So I have tons of free time on my hands. Probably asking yourself (who are we kidding no you aren't) "Well, Tim what do you hope to accomplish with your schedule wiped clean?" You know what the answer is? Absolutely nothing. I'm going to do nothing and it is going to kick tons of ass.

So far today I've:

• skateboarded (landed a new trick!)
• listened to Off With Their Heads and A Wilhelm Scream a bunch
• watched They Live (Rowdy Roddy Piper killing aliens that he can only see when he wears special sunglasses)
• killed the end of season 2 of Arrested Development
• practiced bass a bunch

And fuck, to me that is a pretty stellar day. I'm a simple guy, don't have a bunch of needs. So if a day consists of watching two episodes of X-Men while I eat breakfast and proceeding to stomp a backside 180 behind Bruce Lee's, I'd feel like a dick for asking for anything more.

You could say I'm being a lazy piece of shit, but I'd say I'm having the time of my life.

Come hang? Plz and thx.

K off to watch the remainder of Arrested D, Office Space, Porky's II, the Blue Jays probably lose and hopefully continue my hot streak of shitty skating.

:)

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Survive

Just the best thing on earth right now. Fuck yes.

I'm Your Turbo Lover

It's exam time. Unlike most people, I don't freak out when finals roll around. Rather than stress about little obscure facts about things, I see it as a time to relax, read some stuff and try to remember that stuff as best I can. It's usually really pacifying for me because not only is it a low-stress time for me, but it also signals the end of the year. Woo-hoo.

Something else: DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE HOW REAL SHIT IS GOING TO GET IN X-MEN SOON? Seriously. They're dropping hints about Blade, She-Hulk and Spiderman joining the team. HOLY FUCK!

If you know me, you know I have a gigantic soft spot for shitty metal. Lately Judas Priest has been occupying that spot. Accompanied by bubble spinner.

Cool, mostly blogging because it feels like I haven't written one in awhile and it's a nice break from the grind.

Our Last Song

I really should be writing this essay. It was due this morning. But I honestly just don't care. I'm sure I'll hammer out some garbage tomorrow maybe. Oh well.

I have never been more ready for school to be over. I just do not want to deal with the University of Guelph right now. I feel like if I didn't have these last essays to write and just finals, I'd be fine, but I can't change that now so oh well. I feel like I'm actually on top of my life and it's so weird considering I'm usually not at all when I leave school. But whatever! I'm just gonna ride it out, because I like it.

I'm really looking forward to summer. I have an interview at the Art Gallery of Ontario next monday regarding working there. I know it'll be a cold day in hell before I get full time there now, but anything is promising. I'd just like to get my foot in the door and maybe not have to haul the dumbest fucking kids that the GTA has to offer out of the water a few days a week. Plus I like art and shit, y'know?

Big plans for summer 2010!: Zoo round 2! Kool-Aid plot for real! Drinking all day with no purpose and listening to Kazzer! Skateboarding! Warped Tour! Hangs of epic proportions! Skateboarding! All days vinyl sessions with my closest brahs! Skateboarding! Konrad's cottage round 2! Skateboarding! Hopefully guiding groups of people around Toronto's premier art collection! See all the people I don't get to in Guelph!

Some sweet shows are bound to happen too. Already have Joey Cape, Crime In Stereo, Strike Anywhere, Bane(!), and Warped Tour lined up.

The cure for a tuesday night crap-o-rama? The doctor prescribes copious amounts of the Descendents and All! No, All!

I Don't Care If Monday's Blue

I'm up late and starting an all-nighter. When I do this it usually leads to two things. One, I get super bummed out. I usually have at least one anxiety attack. I go pretty much crazy and talk to myself pretty much the entire night. I seriously do almost lose my mind, you can ask my roommates. Two, I think about EVERYTHING. Pulling all-nighters for me is always because I leave an essay to the very last minute, so naturally I try to continue that procrastination by in-depth thought on every single area of my life. Somehow through my 4 am stage of lunacy I can kinda put together some thoughts that actually make sense and tell me things about my life.

So while I was on the home page for my blog I kinda got to thinking about how my blog can be perceived. I really don't want this thing to come off as really pretentious and shit, so here it goes:

1. The name: I, Musical Genius is an Arrogant Sons of Bitches song. Obviously by my large bulk of posts about him, you can tell I love Jeff Rosenstock. I liked the song title and chose it for the title. It does not reflect my views of myself (am I too paranoid?). Also, I'm an asshole. I guess that's the sentiment behind the song too.

2. All the music discussion: I don't want it to come off as "I know everything about punk rock. I listen to bands yo haven't heard of. Meah meah meah". I just seriously do just read punknews.org all day or post on the punknews messageboard all day and listen to music all day. I just seriously have no life and spend it all listening guys who play fast music. Usually when I find a song that's really turning my crank I throw it up on here, just 'cause. When I see that a tiny unsigned band has put up a free download I throw it up on here. Generally, they say when they put it out for free "Spread the word and tell everyone you know", so I try my best to do that. I like bands and want to keep liking them in future. I just want to help them out. Most people have probably heard of all this shit anyways.

3. Sorry about that "51 Albums That Changed My Life" bullshit. How fucking ridiculous was that? First of all, it clearly should have been called "My Favourite 51 Albums" instead so I didn't sound like a dickface with a head the size of the moon. Secondly, how stupid is that concept? New albums are constantly becoming new favourites of mine and I try to listen to new stuff all the time. So it's dumb to try and pigeon-hole what I like that much. The list didn't even have Kid Dynamite or A Wilhelm Scream on it. Thirdly, who the fuck wants to read about how much I like Sum 41's second album? Fourthly, I don't care if you judge me, I still like that album.

I can't think of anything else right now. I'll probably add to it again later when I get tired of writing this essay.

Cool, my minds wandering and it feels oddly nice to criticize myself. They always say "You can't laugh at others until you laugh at yourself" and I really try to keep that in mind all the time. Because if you take yourself too seriously you become a bigger joke than the one made about you that time you stumbled over some words or something minor like that. So yea, I realize who I am and what I do and what I'm known for. I know most people probably think I'm a weirdo (I once got recognized as "that jackass from the 52 (bus route) with the flipped up hats" at a party). That's also not the first time that type of thing has happened, (aren't you the guy with the bright shoes? plaid shirts? bright skateboard, etc.). And you know what? I'm fine with that. I mean most people who know me would probably take this to mean that I like being ridiculous and kind of putting on a show to entertain those around me, and I do, I really do. But I also think that it's me getting recognized as being different. I kind of stick out of the crowd (ok, really stick out), but you know what? I like sticking out. I think being the same is boring. So if that random girl recognized me for being different than everyone around me and sticking out, then I kind of feel like I was recognized for being me. And fuck, that feels pretty damn good.

I dunno, as much as I might complain about life every now and then, or complain about girls, it's really ok. Because when I think about it, I am totally happy with who I am. I think my parents did an absolutely amazing job of raising me and put a pretty good head on my shoulders with a decent set of morals.

I like that I listen to the music I do.

I like that it's different from what everyone else listens to.

I like that I dress differently (obviously not so much the case at shows).

I like that I feel the way I do about things. You know that I'm an emotional guy and stuff. Because I see the way some people act at university and I really think it's a veil. They act like they don't give a shit, but I think they really do and just don't know what to do about it (I've seen this happen multiple times). I don't have it all figured out (not even close) but I guess I have a head start on these guys, so it's better than nothing.

More and more I find that I disagree about doing the "right thing" with people. Now it's not like I make a big deal about it, it's usually silent, but it does get to me. I like that I know to do the "right thing" even when most people don't.

I guess in short, I'm saying I'm totally cool with who I am. If you aren't it's really easy to be. Just think a lot about all the things you've done and how you really feel about them. Things that happened in the past can't be helped now for the most part, so just cut off the worrying about them. I know that's harder for most people than it is for me, but it's really what you got to do. One quote that oddly, really spoke to me the first time I heard it was by Dr. Seuss. I know it sounds kind of corny and you might think it's dumb, but truer words have never been spoken. Except for the Ancient Greece scene in Bill and Ted's :). But anyways: "Do what you want and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter".

Don't worry be happy. I know that songs sucks and is overplayed, but it's true. If you worry too much it'll eat you alive. Be at ease with the person you are and then it seems like most areas of life fall into place.

Holy fuck, I'm rambling. Ok stopping now. Please, please, please if you see spelling/grammar errors point them out to me. I try my best but usually never catch anything. Bad grammar pisses me off and I don't want to look like a moron.

tl;dr

Ok cool, thanks. That felt good. Listen to The Cure and smile.

Everything Sucks Today

Why is nobody else as excited for this as I am? I suppose it's because nobody I know loves the Descendents and All as much as I do but still! Going to be a great record of pop-punk music!

So Stephen Egerton (guitarist of the aforementioned bands) is putting out a solo record. Rather than going the traditional solo route of one man being sad with an acoustic guitar (don't get me wrong, I'm totally down with that), he's recorded a bunch of songs and is getting a bunch of his punk-rock vocalist friends to sing on them. Basically I translate this as songs that will be vintage Descendents/All poppy sound with just different singers, all of whom rule. Some mentioned include Joey Cape(umm, yea!), Chad Price (All Reunion!), Scott Reynolds (another All reunion!), Chris from LTJ (my two favourite bands combined?!?!?) oh and um, um MILO.

Also especially excited for the John Speck track because I love Hifi Handgrenades to death and they stopped being a real band way too early in their careers.

You can check out the full track listing here:

http://www.reybee.com/pnp/egerton/410/

and a song off the album here (it rules!):

http://www.altpress.com/features/egerton7.htm

We're Just Being Who We Are

Okay, flashback to summer time 2007. Cue Wayne’s World hand motions. Doodlidoo, doodlidoo, doodlidoo.

So at this time I had two main musical genres that I listened to. Ska, which had been my mainstay for about 4 years, and melodic hardcore, Set Your Goals, No Trigger, Strike Anywhere, Etc. Out of all the stuff I listened to, these two seemed to be the most common.

Okay, another flashback now, to the summer before. Band added me to myspace called “We Are The Union”. They had a sort of typical ska-punk sound, heavy influence from Big D and the Kids Table and the Arrogant Sons of Bitches. Not to say they were bad, I totally enjoyed their sound, but back then they were more of a typical ska/punk band.

Alright once more, back to summer ’07. The band posed a myspace bulletin that their new album would be out soon and they had a new track up. It also mentioned an evolution in their sound.

They weren’t kidding.

They combined the two aforementioned styles seamlessly. The songs had fast poppy sing-along parts that lead into dancey ska parts that lead into more hardcore like breakdowns. Needless to say, I thought it was absolutely fucking awesome. It was one of those rare cases where a band’s sound is just so new and so fresh. The band often gets described as “Set Your Goals meets Less Than Jake”, which is apt on a general scale, but there is way more to it than that. Their lyrics are absolutely great, they have a song that references Say Anything (the movie of course, doofus) in the best way possible and put on an absolutely gnarly live show.

So of course I wanted the album but, as always, my state of being a poor university student with no credit card makes it hard for me to buy music when the band hasn’t toured in my area and aren’t on a major (and therefore aren't carried in the chain stores, which are essentially my only outlet of buying music in my small college town) so I was kind of boned. Then one day they put the album up for free. Fucking rad! Obviously I downloaded it right away and lost my shit over how good it was. To me at least, it was one of those albums that just hits you in a special way. Just right away, you know it’s going to be one of your favourites.

Since then it’s been in constant rotation and is definitely one of my favourite records ever. Since they put out that album they signed to Paper and Plastick and released an EP. No surprise, it ruled in tons of ways. They announced they were recording last year so I was excited for the album to come. It took a long time, but it’s finally here.

Now I am going to be honest, I wasn’t hoping for anything drastic on this record. Maybe a bigger breakdown on one song and huge face melter on another (Ricky is a huge shredder after all). My expectations were moronic. The band has stepped up their game in a huge way. This record is like their last one steroids. First of all, since the last album they got a new drummer and another guitar player. Both bring tons to the new album. The drumming is tight and fast as fuck, which is my ideal. The addition of a second guitar allows for a lot more elements and melody to be added. It’s like every member got a lot better at what they do and they mish-mashed all that skill into one fucking huge juggernaut of melodic-pop-punk-hardcore-ska musical gnar.

I cannot recommend this band enough. I am being completely honest when I say they are the best band making music right now. Not to say they are my favourite band ever, (did you think Less Than Jake would get dethroned that easily, COME ON (in Gob Bluth voice)) but I think out of all the bands I listen to, these guys are the most on top of their game and just at their pinnacle.

Here’s my favourite tune by them:

You can also stream the whole new record here:

www.absolutepunk.net/wearetheunion

Totally Bro

You know what gets my goat? Longboarders.

Get a real fucking skateboard.

And stop pushing mongo.